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“Experience is what you get after you needed it.” — Jay Greenstein

ImageIf you could go back to a time when your problems were just beginning, what would you tell yourself?

Hardcore sports participants will tell you, “Blood dries, bruises heal, and bones knit.”  We humans are pretty tough critters when the going gets hard, and we didn’t get that way by growing up in an easy chair.  We all end up on the anvil now and then by choice or by circumstance; and like steel, the best of us manage to sing when the hammer comes down.  The scars on our bodies tell stories that we and others can learn from, and the scars on the inside are no different.

As a divorce and family law attorney in Pennsylvania, I try to give my clients the benefit of other people’s experience as well as my own.  When I found myself — much to my dismay and surprise — going through my own separation after an eleven-year marriage, I decided that I might as well get some professional use out of it.  I wrote this article to share the lessons I learned from my own experience, in hope that it would help others.  Now, it’s your turn.  Marriage can be hard, divorce can be harder, and parenting children in separate homes can take all you have to give while demanding even more.  You’ve been knocked down and stood up again.  You made mistakes and learned from them.  You made choices you regret.  You tried things that worked.  You worked with lawyers who were fair, foul or a little of both.  Why not share?

In this forum dealing with divorce, separation, care and custody of children, property distribution and alimony, use the “leave a reply” section below to tell us a story that teaches us.  Offer us advice that guides us.  Explain how you endured what you had to face.  Warn us about the trap you wish you had avoided.  Show us the fight you won or lost, or the peace you managed to make.  If you could go back to a time when your problems were just beginning, what would you tell yourself?

Some rules.
1.  I will review all submissions before posting, and I reserve for myself the exclusive right to decide what is (and what is not) posted.
2.  Do not use real names within your submission, so that nobody can complain about being defamed.  Unless I have reason to believe otherwise, I will assume that you have not used real names.
3.  Rants, submissions containing foul language, and poorly-edited submissions will not be posted.  The English language is ancient and elegant.  Please be nice to it.
4.  Please remember as you write that you are offering experience, advice and guidance to others.
5.  No compensation is available for accepted submissions.
6.  There is no Rule 6.
7.  Please do not submit anybody’s writing but your own.  Unless I have reason to believe otherwise, I will assume that what you submit is your own writing.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call my office to set up a personal consultation with an Allegheny County family law attorney. This blog will feature periodic updates.  Consider subscribing!  Please do not comment anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  I try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that I will not offer legal advice via the Internet.

Michael B. Greenstein
Greenstein Family Law Services, P.C.
1789 S. Braddock Avenue, Suite 590
Pittsburgh, PA  15218

Phone: 412-371-4500
Fax: 412-371-4501
http://www.greensteinfamilylaw.com